So.
This past week, I finally moved out of my parent's house. I am now living on my own.
And it's scary.
All my life, I've been a kind of loner. I was really good at the angsty-artist thing. I only had two really good friends growing up. We said we would keep in touch after we went to college, but you know how that goes. Time, and distance, kinda took a toll on the friendship([s] respectively). I understood, and I never really felt like I was alone because I had a roommate, and even when we went our separate ways, I had the other people in the dorm to take comfort in. I felt like I was living alone. Which was good with me.
But now, I'm really living by myself. And even though I see people every day, I am still very much a loner. I want to be independent, but being where I am in my life, especially taking into account where I live, I have to rely on my parents. My life revolves around work and school. It's stressful. At least when I lived in the dorm, I had people around me going through the same thing. Truly living alone is harder than I thought. I thought I'd like living alone...you know? No distractions, hogging of the bathroom. No dealing with another person's problems. But it's just lonely. Especially when you have no one to share your stresses with.
I'm sorry for the blog-vomit. I guess the holiday and the visual of actually seeing my stuff in the trailer made the truth of adulthood all the more real.
Go hug a loved one. Everyone needs it at some point. Some are just better at hiding it.
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2 comments:
This was how I felt when I first moved into my own place. No parents, no roommates, total freedom. But it was scary being all alone. For me, it eventually got better, so I hope it does for you too. It's still early on; you'll find a rhythm and adjust to the independence. Inviting people over helped me a lot, and also trying to keep a semi-active social life just to get that personal contact.
On another note, are you still in Cleveland, or are you in Jackson now?
Sorry this is so late Sarah, but I'm living in house Ruleville. I have finally made it my own. I have furniture and my own art on the walls, so it's home now. Being so far out helps me focus on my classwork and art work, so it's been a blessing in disguise.
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