Frustration

Tell me Bloggers: When you get to the real world, is there ever a time when you find the perfect balance of personal time and work time? And a love of both?


Recently I've been feeling very burned out in school and life. I had a mini breakdown the other day when it occurred to me that I'd chosen a major that I don't think I'll love in 5 years. Don't get me wrong, I'm very interested in it, but it is a "pusher" industry, and I've never really been that person, especially if I don't personally like it. I worry that I'll fall into a job that I'll hate and then mete out that hatred of said job to everyone that surrounds me. That thought terrifies me.

I really enjoy creating art, even for mass consumption, but do I have to forego all the teachings of my previous study that said that I should create something that I love? Designing for the consumer is something that I've had to deal with a lot in the recent years, and I find that what I like about a piece of work that I've created is exactly what the customer doesn't like, and vice-versa. I used to think that I was fairly capable of producing work that appealed to the masses, but it hasn't been the case (more often than I'd like to admit). I feel like a loser (self-esteem discussed at a later time) when I make something that no one likes, when the CUSTOMER is supposed to like it. I feel like I'm selling out when I put something out in the world that I would NEVER in a million years want my name on (not that it's come to that point yet), and I just feel...like I'm just pushing a product that isn't new or fresh. I've found that clients either like a very specific thing that is hard to replicate in a way that will make it look presentable, or their ideas span a HUGE variety of designs which, when boiled down, are exactly what everyone else is doing.

I think I'm losing my touch. I feel very ambivalent about my future in graphic design. But I will finish my degree, because if I didn't, I would feel a crushing disappointment towards myself about my cop-out. What happens in the real world when you feel such distain for what you do?